Jordan Robinson, 20, is attempting to cope with the loss of her first love, Felicia Craigg, while starting a new relationship. As she grieves, she says she has to continue living her life.

Jordan has lived as an openly gay woman for the past three years in rural Missouri. She first met Felicia Craigg at the Vocation Technology School in Macon. They began dating and eventually fell in love. After several starts and stops, Jordan and Felicia broke up for the final time in July of 2010. A month after they split up, Jordan began dating Jena Leathers, yet Jordan and Felicia continued to talk about potentially mending their relationship.

Felicia and Jordan spoke on the phone for the last time Aug. 21, 2010. The next morning, Felicia was found dead in her parent’s barn; she had committed suicide by hanging hours after speaking with Jordan. Their last words to one another were, “I love you.”

“I think about her everyday, all day, seven days a week, but I have no other choice other than to accept it,” says Jordan.